romanceaphobe

Wow! I finally did it. I pulled the trigger... and traded in my '96 Saturn for a 2007 Subaru Forester, colored Ruby Red. Her name is Ruby. I love her! My sales man was George. George was a nice older man. On the phone I thought something was wrong with him - he spoke really loudly and he asked me to repeat myself. In person, I realized that George was hard of hearing - he was reading my lips. That impressed me. He was a good guy. He wasn't pushing the sale on me. Two hours after I walked into the dealership, I was signing the papers. Woo hoo!

I did a lot of research on the internet before I went into the dealer, so I had a good idea of what I wanted and what I was willing to pay. The whole car sales bit is so cliche - it's ridiculous. They do the whole, "Wait, I have to go and ask the manager" thing. Get over it. I'm all, "Listen, why don't I just speak to the manager directly?" Then they pull out this calculator and they are punching all these numbers and doing weird math and saying, "Let me explain this to you". Whatever. You don't need a calculator. You don't have to explain anything to me. The bottom line is that you know how much that car cost you and you know how much you are willing to sell it for. You are making money here, not me. So, I got the price I wanted. I was actually surprised with myself - I was so afraid of the whole thing initially.

It's funny to me in retrospect how I was so afraid of so many things that I never thought about what might be enjoyable about having a new car. Getting a new car is awesome! Sure, there are car payments and insurance rates and that kind of thing... but it's nice to have a shiny, red car! Awww yeah, Ruby! Ruby has heated seats! And an automatic car starter! Nice features for a skiier like me!

Labels: car

I haven't blogged in FOREVER. I feel like I had a funny story or two... but they are slipping away from me. Here's my rave of the moment. Sugar free Jello pudding snacks in a little cup! Favorite! Generally I buy chocolate and that's usually all that is available in the sugar-free variety. Lately, Jello has been branching out. There is sugar free Vanilla, sugar free Caramel and... get this! Sugar free "dulce de leche". Oh my goodness, it is out of this world! It's amazing!

I was going to provide a link to the Jello website, but they don't even list all the flavors. Whatever, just go check out your supermarket! I hope that they sell this near you!

I work close to Central Square in Cambridge, MA. Central Square is well known as a gathering place for homeless people, drug and alcohol addicted people, and just plain crazy people. I'm not being judgmental, this is just the reality of the Square. I'm used to it, so I don't mind walking around the square. I've been successful at avoiding confrontations with crazy people who speak very loudly and angrily to anyone who will listen. I have a "keep to yourself" policy which has kept me trouble free.

Until today.

I randomly decided to take a stroll down Mass Ave. It is a beautiful, sunny day so I was out enjoying the weather. I was also looking for some lunch. I didn't have anything in mind, but I randomly decided to pick up a salad at Wendy's. Wendy's is a pretty popular place at lunch time, so the store was hopping. There was quite a long line, but I wasn't in any rush so I didn't mind standing at the back of the line.

As I entered Wendy's, the woman who was standing at the back of the line gave me a really dirty look. When I joined the line, she waved her hand in my face and said, "I hate you! I hate you!" and then turned around.

Sweet!

Okay, so about six months ago my parish priest offered to set me up with a single guy that he knows. That one single guy turned out to be two single guys and then three. This one was one of the original set-ups proposed by Father B. He gave my phone number to him about six months ago but the guy never called. The reason he never called? Probably due to the fact that the guy lives in New York. Seriously. I was like, "Father B - the guy lives in NYC, that's probably not going to work out." and Father B said, "No, you would really like Sam (name changed to protect the innocent). I think you two would really get along well. Plus his family lives here in the Boston area and Sam comes to visit frequently. Also, I heard that Sam is looking for a new job so maybe he'll relocate back to Boston."

I wasn't putting a lot of hope into this plan, but I figured "What the heck". I wasn't bothered by the fact that I never heard from Sam in NYC. I assumed that he hadn't been back to Boston or just wasn't that interested. Then, all of a sudden, I get a call from mysterious set-up number 3. It's the guy from New York. He says to me, "Oh, I'm sorry I didn't call you sooner. About two weeks ago, Father B called me again to follow up and see if I had talked to you. So, I'm calling you now so that I can tell Father B that I called." Okay, so not only is Father B trying to set me up, he's freaking STALKING single men and harrassing them to call me!? What am I, some kind of desperate lost cause? This is disturbing. I think Father B has a little too much time on his hands or he's just a little too involved in my romantic life (rather, lack of a romantic life). Father B really wants to make this thing happen!

So, I chatted with Sam and found out that he has been living and working in NYC for 18 years. Yeah, 18 years. I should mention that Sam is 43 years old. I think we have established from prior experience that 43 is a little too old for me, a 32 year old woman. Sam is looking for a new job, but it doesn't sound like a pressing issue and it doesn't sound like moving back to Boston is high on his list of priorities. He has not been back to visit his parents recently.

Okay, so far nothing is really wrong with Sam but it just seems like this is obviously not going to work out. Here's where I get catty and mean. I'm sorry - but it needs to be said. Sam sent me an e-mail and attached a picture of himself. He was probably expecting me to send a picture of myself back to him. This is fair and probably a good idea since we don't really know each other. However, I have not replied to his e-mail. The reason? Sam looks like a dowdy middle-aged man. Not hideous, not unattractive... just kind of puffy and middle-aged. Now, clearly I am not a dowdy middle-aged woman so I don't understand why Father B would think that we would be a good match for each other. I need to have a chat with Father B and establish some basic expectations here.

Sigh. Don't get set-up by your parish priest. I think that's the lesson here.

Seriously. She's so cute, I can't stand it! I just want to nibble on those little fingers and squeeze those rosy cheeks! I realized that there is a cat in the background. That's Tessie. They are getting acquainted with one another.

This is the moment that I first met my niece, Sophie Elise. She was just born that day! Of course, she is the most beautiful and perfect child EVER, but I am biased.

I am so pysched that fall weather is here! This means that I can put away my summer clothes and bust out the fall wardrobe! That makes me so happy! I did a little dance of joy in my closet this morning. I love fall clothes. I love courderoy. I love burgundy. I love vests. I love fleece.

Plus, I am excited because now that it is fall, winter can only be a few months away! I'll be skiing in no time!

One day, I got a mysterious phone call on my cell phone. My phone has caller ID but this number was blocked, it just said, "Private caller" which made me suspicious. It was the Baptism guy! The guy who met my parish priest at a Baptism and got my phone number. Wacky. Anyway, the Baptism guy sounded really nice and really normal. We had a nice chat on the phone. We made tentative plans for lunch. Lunch is a perfect first date because it's low commitment. I chatted with this guy a few other times and the plans for lunch mutated into plans for dinner. His choice for a dinner location was Dali, a Spanish tapas restaurant in Cambridge. I have been there many times. The food is excellent, the sangria is awesome, but the dining experience there is a little too intimate for a first date. It's kind of dark and "romantic" in there and the food requires sharing several small plates of food. That is not usually something you do with people that you have just met.

But, I decided to go with the flow. He wanted to pick me up in his car and drive me to the restaurant. I was highly resistant to this idea because escape would be difficult without a getaway vehicle, but I eventually relented because parking is a nightmare at Dali and the idea of meeting a total stranger in a restaurant seemed slightly more awkward than meeting a total stranger on the street and then driving to the restaurant with said stranger. I don't know... I could be wrong. He told me that he drives a Lexus. I got a little excited about that. Okay, I know I am a TOTAL hypocrite. I just said that the frat boy was mistaken when he thought that girls care about cars. I don't think girls care about jeeps. Girls DO, however, notice a luxury vehicle. The luxury vehicle could be saying a few different things about a man. One, it could say that the man is totally compensating or having a mid-life crisis. Two, it could say that the man has a lot of money and good taste. Three, it could say that the man is in total denial, lives with his mother and drives 10 year old BMWs. Whatever. It's more noticeable than a Jeep.

When he came to pick me up, I almost died. He was short. Really short. I'm not even sure how short he was, but I know that I felt uncomfortable standing next to him. Also, I don't want to seem callous and judgmental, but let's just say this... he told me that his friends say that he looks like Joe Piscopo. He offered that piece of information. I will just say that he DOES in fact look like Joe Piscopo, a shorter version of Joe Piscopo, and that is NOT a good thing. I wouldn't tell people that. If you look like Joe Piscopo, don't advertise that fact. It's not a winning point. That's all I'm saying.

We had a pleasant dinner and a nice conversation. I pulled through as well as I could. At the end of the date, he drove me back and walked me to my car. I was a little uncomfortable with that. He could have just dropped me off and drove off into the night, but I guess he was being chivalrous. He went in for a hug when we said goodbye. I might have winced, because I was really afraid he might try to kiss me and then I would have had to scream. But, no, it was just a hug. Okay. I did not call him or e-mail him after the date. I preferred to just "let it go". He hasn't pursued me further, which is fine. Honestly, I'm a bitch and I deserve to be alone.

Seriously, though, I was kinda pissed at my parish priest. What is he thinking? What criteria is he applying to this "let's find Beth a mate" project? I'm almost six feet tall. I think that "tall" would be one of the obvious criteria for a potential partner. I'm beginning to think that any random, single guy who walks by my pastor gets my phone number. Am I that desperate? Maybe. I shouldn't be upset, though, I've had more dates through my pastor than any other way.

So, the IT/frat boy continued to call me for a while and invite me to lunch. The problem is that he always called at the same time every day. He would call at about 1:30 PM and say, "Hey, would you like to have lunch today" and at that point I had already had lunch or I had already made plans. I figured that he might be smart and he might change his strategy by A) calling me earlier B) asking me a day or two in advance or C) trying a different approach altogether and asking to meet me AFTER work or outside the work environment. To be honest, I was feeling a little weird about being pursued at the work place during business hours. I mean, I have personal conversations at work (obviously, everyone does) but I try to focus most of my time and energy on work while I am at work.

Eventually he stopped calling. I wasn't too upset. If I had felt more motivated I might have tried to call him back or send him an e-mail but I just wasn't feeling it. Sorry, IT guy!

The IT guy and I parried e-mails back and forth for a bit. I told him that I wouldn't be able to visit him at the bar where he worked right away, since I was busy that weekend. He asked if I wanted to meet up with him after work, that DAY! I was not prepared for that, so I said no. He proposed lunch, I agreed. Lunch is easy. Low commitment. Meanwhile, I tried to get insider info about this mysterious IT guy. Our IT department is huge and I know NO ONE in that group. So, I asked around and tried to see if any of my friends could scope this guy out. One of my co-workers said, "He asked you out over the phone? That's weird! You should be careful. What if he's a stalker?" Hmmm... that is a good point. But, I figured that this is a work environment, so if he turned psycho on me I could always go to HR. Plus, I do have a black belt in karate. I'm not all that concerned.

Finally, I agreed to a day and time to meet the IT guy for lunch. A burrito, specifically. There is an awesome burrito joint just around the corner from my office. At the last moment, I got a little nervous about the height issue. I am almost 6' tall and I imagined that maybe the IT guy was only 4'5". That would be potentially embarrassing for both of us. So, I warned him, "I'll be the 5'11" blonde girl in front of the building. You can't miss me." He replied, "No problem, I'm 6'2" and I'll be driving a bright yellow jeep. You can't miss the jeep!" I was like, "Um, you do know that the burrito place is walking distance from here. You don't need to drive." and he was all, "Don't worry about it."

I'm thinking, I really hope this guy doesn't bring his jeep because that will be SO stupid. And you know what? He did. He brought his bright yellow jeep with no top and no doors to pick me up so that we could drive around the corner and buy burritos. He couldn't find a legal parking spot so we had to get in the jeep right away and drive BACK to work. So moronic! I think that he was thinking that I would be impressed by his car. But, this makes no sense. Girls don't really care about cars. Well, unless it were a really EXPENSIVE car, that might perk our ears up. But, a jeep? What's so exciting about that? I guess if you are a boy, you like that kind of thing.

So, my first impression of the guy is that he is a frat boy. And you know my history with frat boys.... Oh boy!

I have many blog stories to catch up on. It's been a long time! Okay, here's a good one from a while back.

I was working late one night, processing data on my computer. All of a sudden, I had a problem with Microsoft Excel. I couldn't open the program! I couldn't access any of my data! Ahhhh! This is major! (Sidenote: I was at a conference recently and a majorly geeky chemistry guy said to the audience, "I love Excel!" and I thought, "Me too! I totally understand that!")

So, I frantically began calling the IT help desk. Keep in mind, it was about 6 pm on a Thursday night. I knew my chances were grim, but I kept calling anyway. I was desperate. I called and left messages. No one was answering the phone. I sent an e-mail to the IT help desk. I went online and logged a service request on their intranet page. No response.

Finally, I got a call from a guy at IT. He said, "I'm calling about your problem with Excel."
"Thank God!" I practically gushed over the phone to this man, clearly my Savior. He accessed my computer over the network and mysteriously guided my cursor around the screen, poking and prodding my PC, all the while chatting with me on the phone. It was a strange experience, but I was happy because I felt the resolution to my problem was close at hand.

At a certain point, our conversation turned flirtatious. He asked if I was single. Well, no, he didn't say, "Are you single?" but I think he said, "Are you going with your significant other?" and I said, "NO, I'm just going with friends." (I think I was talking about going to the beach over the weekend.) At the close of our conversation, he asked if I would like to get together for a drink after work sometime. He mentioned that he was a bartender part-time and would make me a margarita. I said, "Sure, I drink margaritas".

After our phone conversation, I immediately checked the intranet page to see if I could find a picture of this guy I had been talking to. There was no picture of him! There is a picture of ME on the intranet page, so he could obviously look me up and see my picture, but I couldn't see what he looked like. Argggh! So frustrating!

What would happen next? Read on....